It's called a 'PEG-tube'

 A little over three weeks ago, unable to swallow much more than water, I contacted the surgeon assigned to my case and asked him to install a feeding tube.

I didn't know exactly what I was getting myself into, but the radiographer, Dr Gopal, mentioned that it was an option. I was still losing weight and I really couldn't afford to lose much more, being at least ten pounds lighter, maybe even twenty, than I probably should be.

Dr Kilmurray fit me into his schedule a few days later on Friday June 14. I now have what is known as a "PEG-tube" sticking into the top of my stomach. At night I use an electric pump provided through to feed myself liquid nourishment which is covered by public health care benefits and delivered to my door by the pharmacy free of charge.

All of this is coordinated by the Southwest Community Access Centre who have a dietician and a VON nurse visiting me weekly if I want to make sure I have everything I need. I feel pretty well taken care of by the system, even though my primary choice for treatment - hydrogen peroxide, Vitamin C and DMSO chelation - is not covered by OHIP. Maybe I should start a petition.

The PEG tube is designed for the pump I use as I sleep to give me highly processed liquid nourishment. During the day - every two hours or so - I use the Magic Bullet blender a friend generously gifted me to whip up concoctions and inject them into the PEG-tube using disposable 60cc syringes.

Here are main ingredients, both sustenance and medicine:
- VEGA protein powder
- whey protein isolate
- water and/or coconut water
- turmeric
- digestive enzymes
- Seroyal liquid vitamins
- concentrated liquid greens
- Dr Sherman Lai's Ai-Detox
- Free and Easy Wanderer Plus (aka Jia Wei Xiao Yao San)
- CandiBactin - BR

I can still drink fine liquids and have a Champion juicer another friend gave me I use mainly for carrot and lemon juice shots. But now that the body seems to be getting stronger and the reroot veggie boxes have started, I'll be doing as many local, seasonal raw greens as I can and getting more inventive with the Magic Bullet.

The surgery was more demanding on my personal healing powers than I was prepared for. I thought I would go back to work the following Wednesday, but in the days immediately after the surgery I was on pain medication, bruised, hungry and malnourished, and I had a tube sticking out of my belly. I was totally put off by the broths which sustained me prior to the surgery, and couldn't continue ingesting baking soda (everything tastes salty these days).

Needless to say, not only have I not been back to work since the surgery, but I am taking an indefinite medical leave of absence and applying for sickness benefits from EI and CPP.

Seven days after the surgery I started getting a lot of pain along the area of the diaphragm. By this time I had started depriving myself of the hydromorphone I had been prescribed for the pain because of the way it darkened my mood, so that may have helped, but pain is the sign of a problem and this wasn't an organ or even near the surgery site.

Whatever it was it was a localized and definable physical side-effect from the surgery where tension was being held and needed to be released through some sort of physical therapy. Tara helped me out as much as she could with acupuncture and BodyTalk, but it was a visit to an osteopath on Tuesday the 25 that was a major turning point.

I'm pretty fortunate to have Paul as an osteopath. Not only is he also trained in cranial-sacral therapy, but he also possesses gifts which I believe cannot be taught. He has helped me release some pretty deep stuff in the years I've been seeing him, but the biggest stuff is coming up now as I dance this part of the dance. The past session with him was pivotal in getting me to where I can actually sit at the computer and write for an extended period of time and finally finish this entry.

I have requested a PET scan for next month to see where I am, and in the meantime I'll be stepping up the tempo, resuming my baking soda doses and maybe even trying cannabis oil.

For me one of the most interesting things about my feeding tube is how late last year our male cat Angel went off his food and became dangerously ill. The vet put a similar feeding tube into the top of his esophagus and five times a day I had to feed and administer medicine to him using the exact same medical-issue 60cc syringes as I am using now. His life depended on it and at the time I had a very clear sense that there was something significant about the act of syringing food and crushed up pills, something beyond just keeping the cat alive. "There is something here for me," I said to Tara more than once during those weeks.